Faux Interview: Roxy Reynolds

Roxy Reynolds Faux Interview

Gee Pleezer (GP): Foxy Roxy

Roxy Reynolds (RR): Hi Gee Pleezer.

GP: Damn, you are really making my blog hot.

RR: I’m making you hot too.

GP: You ain’t never lie.  I’ve been seeing you around the web since I started surfing porn back in 2002.

RR: I’ve been doing my thing.  A combination of movies and photos.

GP: Damn…I haven’t seen a booty this thick up close since I did that Tiara faux interview.

RR: I’m gonna’ need you to stay focus.

GP: Okay.  I’m back.  Anyway, what’s the craziest thing you ever did in one of your ‘P.G. 21′ nasty movies?

RR: LOL….Man!  So it’s like this.  There was this scrub on the set.  On my set that is, trying to upstage me.  He was a buster.  It went like this.  I just got done with a scene with me giving head.  Instead of swallowing, I kept the cum in my mouth.  He comes in for his scene.  Walking like he ran shit.  So I’m on top of him slowly undoing his pants.  I went to kiss him.  While kissing him I skeeted the other guy’s cum in his mouth.

GP: WHAT!  OH HELL NO!  ARE YOU SERIOUS?

RR: I jumped up.  That motherfucker was going crazy.  My security handled him though. 

GP: I don’t want to ever kiss you.

RR: I didn’t like him so I was like “fuck it”. 

GP: Wow.

RR:  Dudes need to watch what bitch they piss off.

GP:  I’m lost for words.  However, what’s in store for you in the ‘09?

RR: I’m going to be at Bikers Week 2009 in Myrtle Beach, SC.  I’ll probably be there on May 23rd.

GP: Along or with someone.

RR: It won’t matter, the scrubs will get the nut if they aren’t careful.  Actually, I’m rollin’ with a bunch of other hoes.

GP: I’ll be there.

RR: I’ll see you there.  In the mean time, come over and give me a kiss….LOL

Faux Interview: Tiara Harris

Tiara Harris

Gee Pleezer (GP): Tiara Harris

Tiara Harris (TH): That’s my name, don’t wear it out.

GP: You’re a sassy one I see.  Anyway, so what makes you stand out from all the other Internet models?

TH: What doesn’t?  I’m 5′10″ first of all.  Most of these “fly by night” so called Internet models are short.  What they call thick, I call fat.  2nd, I’m a natural beauty.  Never airbrushed or photo shopped.

GP: I see what you mean.

TH: West Sideeee..! (she actually made W’s with her fingers)

GP: What?

TH: I was shoutin’ out where I’m from. (she made W’s again with her fingers)

GP: Oh…okay.  On a normal day out and about, has anyone ever mistaken you for a prostitute?

TH: Once or twice.

GP: So….

TH: So I told the police officers I only do private parties.  We finalized the deal on the spot. 

GP:  Yeah, okay.  What the business with your website.

TH: I thought you’d never ask.  My site is tight.  I’m a pioneer in that area.  I revolutionized the whole internet model thing. 

GP: Do you believe you have the staying power.  I mean, you have Super Head, Diznee, Bria Miles, and Buffy the Body to compete with.

TH:  LOL…you’re funny.  I see YOU lookin’.  You like this ass..don’t you!  You’re probably rock hard.  Come on now, I’m the baddest bitch in the industry.

GP:  (she ain’t lying about that) Super Head and Buffy has been on the national stage.  Super Head did Oprah, and Buffy was “Big Booty Judy” in the movie ATL.

TH: So…I’m Tiara…I paved the way for them.  I started the big booty movement.  Ya heard me!

GP: Any tips for the wanna be booty models?

TH: Yes.  Cellulite is NOT cute.  Cottage Cheese thighs aren’t sexy.  Big stomachs and stretch marks are a no no.  If you’re going to suck a rapper’s dick make sure you at least get a part in the video. 

GP: There you have it.  Thanks for your time and I wish you well.

TH:  You wish you could smack this ass….don’t you Gee Pleezer?  It’s all good.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to…

GP:  You’re a tease. 

TH: See ya’ around like a doughnut!

Faux Interview: Rick Ross “The Boss”

Rick Ross

Gee Pleezer (GP): Rick Ross the boss…

Rick Ross (RR): I had to get at DJ Vlad.  I’m from the streets you know.

GP: You a Miami native.

RR: Port of Miami.  Trilla!

GP: No, I mean were you born and raised in the M I A.

RR: M I A? Naw, I was born in a hospital.  After that I hit the streets.  I couldn’t wait to push weight and gain weigh.  I was the only one doin’ it out of my baby stroller.

GP: (WTF ever) What’s the business on the C.O. controversy.

RR: When I was locked up man…the C.O’s. tried to exploit me, know what um’ sayin’.  They was usin’ my name RICK ROSS THE BOSS so they could get weight.

GP: To get it inside the prison.

RR: That’s true all the way around. You see this medallion.  This is me.  This is how your rent to own.  $45.99 a week for 5 years.  I got 2 more years to go.

GP: That interview 50 Cent did with your baby momma was on fire.

RR: That hoe sold out for a coat.  The thing is, it’s too fuckin’ hot in M I A for a coat…LOL.  She should’ve told that fool to get her a car. 

GP:  That would have made more sense.  I guess 50 knew how to pimp that hoe.

RR: (Rick Ross quickly stood up in anger) Yo, for real, where do you get off callin’ my baby momma a hoe? 

GP: I didn’t mean anything by it.  I was speaking on your level.  You just called her a hoe.

RR:  I do for entertainment purposes.  I love Tia. I love my baby momma.

GP: Right.

RR: (his eyes began to water) This interview is over man.  I gots to go…

GP: Ok…well let me know if I do anything for you.

RR: Fuck you!